The only thing that would grow successfully on dead Steve’s side of the house was poison oak. Well, I suppose I should back up and explain dead Steve first. Actually, as my property is sort of out on a peninsula I only have two neighbors, Steve and Steve, at least when I first moved into my house. On one side there is Steve and Kathy and on the other Steve and his mother. Dead Steve was about sixty-five and his mom around ninety. After only being in our place several months dead Steve appears at the door and reports that his mom had passed away. We consoled him as best we could under the circumstances over the next several weeks. Then, I didn’t see him anymore. Finally, after about six months had passed I saw a woman working in his yard who turn out was his ex-wife. I waved and asked, “Hey is Steve alright?” She replied in a somber tone. “No. Steve died of a heart attack.” Apparently the stress of his mom dying was too much for his sixty-five year old ticker and he’d been dead for almost half a year. Hence, he and the property became dead Steve’s.
So his young teenaged son inherited the property which presented legal hassles which resulted in it remaining vacant for years. The main motherlode of poison oak flowed from dead Steve’s yard and I was constantly battling it after the wife and I discovered the hard way that we had a noxious weed problem. We both got poison oak with Deni really getting the worst of it perhaps because her fair British skin had never been exposed to the three woes of the American boy scout camper such as your’s truly. Hell, I’d already contracted all three on numerous occasions though not like Chris Defransisco who while going for his poisonous plant merit badge retrieved every dandelion, oak seedling and other non poisonous plant in the forest failing to get his badge. After several days he came down with the worst case of all three I’d ever heard of. He had to be hospitalized. One would think that this alone would qualify one for that badge but one would be wrong however.
Be that is it was, I had to do something about the poison oak invasion from the north. That side of the house is the dark side and nothing else grew despite my efforts. So, I decided to defend the property from invasion the way it has been done for centuries. I dug a moat along the property line. Actually, it was a long Koi pond that ran along the fence line forming a barrier the poison oak couldn’t penetrate. But digging my Koi moat took six months. As soon as I began digging the rainy season set and lasted until my pond was filled with water spiting the rain even if it wanted to fall. I went as far as to incorporate my downspouts from the house to flow into the pond. On the other side of the house I rigged up the downspouts to water my raised bed gardens. Now we had the small pond my wife built, with her own hands and the big pond/moat. In the future this moat would become a key factor in preventing the fence from being torn down as was the fate of the fence that divide Steve and dead Steve’s yards. But that is another story I may, or may not get around to telling.
During all the time I dug the moat, by shovel mind you, I was beginning to watch Kylie as well. The first couple months my daughter took off and watched my granddaughter herself. But then she had to return to work and I took over the daycare duties. When my kids were young I was not around as much as my stay at home wife since I was working a job or three to make ends meet. So I missed out on a lots sadly while they grew up though I still spent almost all my free time with them. Now my youngest family member was with me constantly and I was loving it. My daughter and son-in-law were pleased as well since my rate was very reasonable for watching their child - free. That’s pretty much all you do with them when they’re young. You watch them grow intermingled with feeding, changing, degassing and holding them while they sleep. Oh sure there’s an art to putting a child in the crib after rocking them to sleep in your arms that mothers do in a Houdini-like fashion. Babies always woke up on me right in the middle of the act of putting them down and they began to cry forcing me to abandon the put down. Then again I don’t really mind just holding the baby - for hours. Sometimes when I had to do something I’d pass my sleeping granddaughter off to my wife and she’d attempt the crib-down. She was about fifty fifty on her success rate having at that point been well into her second decade without rearing a baby herself. So she was a bit out of practice.
As I’ve previously discussed, my family is a band of automobile serial killers. They are murder on cars. So my wife calls me while she’s on her way to work shortly after I’ve completed the big pond and feel I’m really making some progress getting things done now. Those are the times I should tremble in fear for disaster lurks just around the bend. The bend my wife overheated the car on was probably the most dangerous spot she could have picked. I snatched her up with neither of us becoming highway fatalities, in my little $950 craigslist.com 91 Celica, took her to her work then returned to guide the tow truck back to the house. Then a couple days later before I’d even decided what to do about her Corolla my Celica clutch gives out. So I had to put a new clutch in my car first because it was the quickest thing I could do to get one of the cars back on the road. My wife borrowed one of Will and Tiree’s cars in the meantime to get to work until my Celica was back on the road about a week later. Then I had to pull her Corolla engine out and tear it apart so I could rebuild it. There was no structural damage on her motor like on the previous engine that my wife and son Mathew savagely and brutally destroyed. After about a month I had her Corolla back on the road with a rebuilt engine and it ran like a sewing machine too I’m telling you!
Deni’s mom and step dad paid us a visit to see Kylie and that was nice. Living in England it’s not often that Deni gets to see her family. Brian, Deni’s step dad gave me some advice on the generator I’d bought minding from his experiences with the British military. When the hurricane hit in 2011 knocking out out power for five days Deni became keen on the idea of getting a generator. Having a 5.8 earthquake strike that very same week helped as well. We looked into big boxstore hardware generators but they were all made in China and worthless after a couple of uses and cost around $1000 for a 5000 watt machine. After a bit of research we decide to get an army surplus diesel generator that produce 10,000 watts of power. I got it from Ft. Mead just up the road for a bit over $700 and had it towed and stuck in the backyard. This generator came on a trailer and was BIG! It was tough even getting the thing off of the trailer without any of us getting killed. It needed some basic maintenance but after replacing some fuel line, filters and buying a battery and cables the thing fired up and ran like a Mercedes. This generator would come to set the county government on my hyde among other things but this is a story I shall come to tell a bit later on when the time is right.
So things were going along pretty smoothly which always sets my mind to fretting. Then I hear that Kylie has been to the doctors and gotten shots. Damn, I thought. I should have warned the kids about the shots but she seems so young still. When I did so but they mostly blew me off it appeared anyway by the vacant look in their eyes and their passive aggressive appeasing response. Then in about a week Kylie came down with a bad cold or flu or something. Well I never liked it when the kids were sick and back then I didn’t know about the vile scum at the top of the vaccine manufacturing heap. So I couldn’t sleep for worrying about her and would check her crib every hour on the hour. Once I found her awake and fussing I’d pick her up and walk the floor with her patting her back trying to break up the congestion. She’d look up at me even as a baby with a gaze that asked me “Granddad, am I going to be alright?” Night after night I walked the floor with her until she was back healthy again. Her health was my major concern now as my daughter and son-in-law had not yet realized the dangers waiting on the corporate shelves designed to make little children sick and dead. I’d already put my foot down with my son-in-law Will before Kylie was born, about the aspartame gum. He asked if anybody had seen his gum and I told him I threw it in the trash and if I find anything else with aspartame that would meet the same fate. He realized I was serious and looked into the health questions about aspartame but more importantly discovered it’s in just about all of the gum nowadays. Then when my old girlfriend Lorrie died of a brain tumor after thirty years of drinking diet Coke I know Will was wary of the stuff and didn’t consume anymore himself. So when I called him over to the trashcan where I’d placed the full bottle of Pedialyte that he’d planned to give to my granddaughter he listened. I pointed out that it contained aspartame and that the scum providing this for babies should be shot. Will agreed and from that point forward he read all the label before giving anything to Kylie. After having walked the floor with Kylie my daughter got use to Granddad taking over in the wee hours of the morning. Now that I’m on old man time, we get to bed seven, eightish most nights then we could be up at three AM or earlier. That’s the way humans evolved over millions of years of blurry eyed parents depositing their children into the arms of grandparents leading a life so dull that they would be getting up that early in the morning rather than as in the olden days of not so long ago only just getting to sleep by that hour.
I wish Will would have been more diligent with regards to vaccines. They went ahead and let the medical priests give Kylie another round of injections. Sure enough within a short time my granddaughter was sick again although this time much more so. I heard her labored breathing and I worry despite my wife’s assurance as a nurse that she’ll be fine. Kylie gets worse. Then I wake up in the middle of the night and Deni is already awake. She has a worried look on her face and I immediately ask, how’s Kylie. Then she launches into one of her preconditioning speeches to calm me before giving me bad news. I demand to know and for her to cut the crap. She tells me Kylie is in the hospital and she has pneumonia. Deni says she’s waiting for a call now to get the latest. I made an espresso worried sick. Then I started getting angrier and angrier. I’d told everybody how I felt about those damn vaccines and now here she was sick again. After sipping a bit I my coffee I told Deni that I didn’t give a damn what her nurse training taught her about vaccines. I said the concept was a wise idea that is being administered by a criminal gang. Then I warned her that it made no difference what she believed and it only matter what I believed regarding this situation. I told her, “Here’s my advice to you if you like our marriage and the person you see standing before you now. If you all ever give my granddaughter one of those vaccines again and something were to happen to take her away for me I will never be the same ever again. Now you all have to ask yourself if you’re willing to risk everything and trust the criminals running the vaccine machine for profit who also make money when they get you all sick?”
We sat there silently for awhile then I said “SCREW IT! I’m going to the hospital.” We dressed and drove to the hospital. I thought the worst thoughts. Would I be sitting home not seeing the last days of my granddaughter? NO WAY IN HELL! We parked then made our way down the quiet corridors of the hospital still in the middle of the night. In the emergency room I found Kylie lying on her mom’s stomach receiving oxygen. Kylie was awake and she appeared to be responding to the treatment. I relaxed a bit then went back on the offensive. I’d already read the vaccine riot act to my wife. My daughter was too mainstream to believe me at that point in time but Will was another matter altogether. I pulled him aside. In a voice only he and I could here I began to talk to him. “I want you to listen to me and listen good. This is the second time Kylie has gotten sick after receiving a shot. Now I’m talking low because I don’t want these nurses and doctors hearing me. That are well meaning like Deni and would never hurt anybody but they are dupes of the medical industrial big pharma complex that thrives on making people sick especially kids. Now you may think I’m crazy and there’s only a thousand to one chance I’m right. My question to you is, are you willing to take that chance with your daughter’s life? “
Will is very smart and has looked into the vaccine question. Thus far Kylie has not received further shots and she has been the picture of health. I pray it stays that way. After all they discovered the cure to autism. You have to convert to Amish.