9/11 Super Diesel

Look, if the official 9/11 story is true then our energy woes are a thing of the past. That's because of what I'll refer to as "9/11 Super Diesel." Now if the official tale be true of 9/11, then this magic diesel burns hot enough to even melt steel so it runs white hot like lava according to the firemen on location at ground zero. Apparently some of the government's best paid scientists have figured it all out. Just add a bit of airplane aluminum to the diesel and wallah! You have a fire that will burn like an acetylene blow torch. All we have to do, America, is upgrade the cooling capacity of our car engines and we'll get 500 miles per gallon on 9/11 Super Diesel.

So 9/11 will end up being a blessing in disguise in that it will solve our energy crisis and end our dependence on foreign oil.