Fat Factor

Fat Factor

A very accurate measure of wealth distribution in society is derived from the waste line. In America where there is still a good measure of freedom and democracy, we have a problem with obesity. Many everyday Americans are fat, and don't give a damn about what other people think about it, while the political leaders try to look and stay thin. Evidently they get more votes that way. I suppose Americans treasure political leaders who appear less hog-like and greedy even though most are skinny thieves with cat-like moves for the taxpayer's wallet.

However, in places like Cuba and Venezuela, the longer the leaders are in power the fatter they become while the people look more like Ichabod Crane on Jenny Craig. The Castro boys have squeezed enough crap through those colons to bring fifty golden years to the dung beetles of Cuba. Needless to say the two brothers in fat decided against the six-pack abs for the keg. The government won't cremate them upon death because the enormous quantities of fat would lite a fire easily seen from Miami. And Hugo Chavez! Good Lord if the boy gets much fatter he's going to explode and solve all our problems, aye? Soon they're going to have to just wrap him up in sheets like a toga wearing Nero while he fiddles with Venezuela. In fact, if every Cuban exile would be willing to donate just one Twinkie to the "Fatten Up The Hugo Fund" then very soon Venezuelans would breath the air of freedom one again. So...won't you...give just one...of your Hostess treats....to the gorge a dictator fund? Send hams with yams, cakes you bake and other butter fat bombs. Use your culinary imagination to cram as many calories as physically possible with out breaking some Einstein law then mail your Trojan Horse Treats to:

Swell Dictators Hugo and Raul
Havana, Cuba or Caracas, Venezuela

PS Zip codes aren't necessary because once your tributes are delivered to their respective cities they will be close enough to the duo's gravitational field to slip into orbit of their final digestive destination.