Saturday, February 24, 2007

Cuba is Revolting

Cuba is Revolting

Yes Cuba is revolting – now in more ways than imaginable. No - mobs are not yet running wild in the streets looking for anyone connected to the regime to string-up. But the word on the street is spreading like wildfire. Cubans now realize that tourism does not bring them any direct benefit. Instead they see only a foreigner occupying their land doing things that regular Cubans were allowed to do before Castro. They see the fat foreigners waddling around as if they own the place. But now the Cuban people have a target to attack that will effectively starve the regime of foreign currency and at the same time give the people on the street a way to vent their anger. Here are just a few of the ways Cubans are revolting:

1. Defecating in tourists’ food

2. Urinating in tourists’ drinks

3. Spitting in tourists’ food and drink

4. Providing tourists with unsanitary plates, glasses and utensils

5. Using unsanitary medical devices for medical procedures (the Fidel treatment)

6. Allowing vermin access to food meant for tourists

7. Grinding up flies and other insects to put in tourists’ food.

8. Heavily spicing spoiled meat and fish to mask the foul taste

9. Repeatedly using the same unwashed bed linen for new arriving tourists

10. Purposely infecting tourists with sexually transmitted diseases

Islanders have additional ways to sabotage the tourist industry but we’ll keep quiet about these more obscure methods so they will be more effective. As more and more tourists return from Cuba sick and in a few unfortunate cases – dead – other more civilized destinations will look much more attractive. Plus, the Cuban exile population stands ready at any time to offer expert testimony in open Court to any and all victims of these unscrupulous tour operators like Thomas Cook. We can truthfully assert that Thomas Cook was aware of the dangers that they were exposing their customers to and still recklessly and wantonly sent them to Cuba anyway. Thomas Cook will have no place to hide in open Court and will be liable for damages in the millions. Add to these losses, the damages that Thomas Cook will be required to pay for past complicity in the Cuban slave trade and the loss of tourist revenue until that damage is paid and this is just not sound corporate policy. Stockholders of shares of Thomas Cook would do wise to reconsider Manny Fontenla-Novoa’s stewardship of their investment dollars.

Tomás Estrada-Palma

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Turista no!

La Habana

7:28 PM  
Blogger Jose Aguirre said...

You'd have to be an idiot or a communist to go vacation in Cuba at this time! Keep spreading the word!

The natives getting even with the tourists, probably a good show for A Mano Limpia or Maria Elvira.

3:11 PM  
Blogger Tomás Estrada-Palma said...

If Cubans realized how worried Manny Novoa and Thomas Cook were about the bad press and looming damages for supporting tourism segregation they would direct their anti Castro rage squarely in their direction.

9:24 AM  
Blogger Tomás Estrada-Palma said...

No ma'am... That's not a fly in your soup. Those are Cuban flavor nuggets. They're just loaded with protein!

6:05 PM  

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