Forgotten Moments in History
Forgotten Moments in History
When the former Soviet Union collapsed, depriving Castro of the subsidies that propped up his centrally mismanaged regime, Fidel was desperately searching for schemes to bring in hard currency. Realizing how gullible the leftist elite in the Western democracies were, he hatched a plan to get these Fidel lovers to put money in the Bank of Cuba. The Bank of Cuba couldn’t afford to pay any real interest. So Fidel offered to have lunch in the Grand Ballroom of the Presidential Hotel in Havana, Cuba with anyone who would deposit at least 1 million dollars in the Bank of Cuba.
Not long after he announced this offer Fidel received a phone call from his old pal Chavez in Venezuela who wasn’t president then. Chavez says he had no real money himself but his little brother had some money that he needed to put somewhere that he won gambling. So an appreciative Fidel thanks his old buddy and arranged to meet with Chavez’s little brother. Sure enough little Chavez deposits 1 million dollars in the Bank of Cuba and is having his lunch with Castro in the Grand Ballroom of the Presidential Hotel.
Fidel trying to make conversation says, “Hey chico…so you’re a gambler are you? What do you like to do, cards, the horse races, casinos? You know we have some of those things right here in Havana if you’d like to try your luck?” Little Chavez laughs and say, “No, no, no thank you. I don’t like my odds with those endeavors. They favor the house. No…I prefer to make bets.” Fidel’s curiosity has been piqued now. “Bets.” Fidel inquires a bit confused. “What do you mean bets?” Chavez replies blandly, “You know…like for example I’d bet you that you had 3 testículos.” A shocked Fidel asks, “You’d bet me that I have 3 testículos?” A confident little Chavez exclaims, “I’ll bet you $25,000 you have 3 testiculos.” Fidel thrusts his hand forward and shakes in agreement before little Chavez can change his offer. “It’s a bet. But I don’t have 25 G’s here in my wallet.” Fidel realizes. “Heck, me neither.” Replies little Chavez who picks up his cell phone and goes in a corner to speak privately. “What’s up?” Asked Fidel upon his return to the table. He replies, “I just called Hugo and told him to bring me $25,000 in cash because I didn’t want to take money out from the Bank of Cuba that I just deposited.” Fidel smiles and says, “Good, good thinking! I’ll call Raul and have him bring be 25 G’s as well.”
So the two men sit there for several hours drinking and laughing until their two brother’s show up in Hugo Chavez’s limo outside which is announced to the two drinkers in the hotel. So Fidel stands up a bit drunk and say unbuckling his trousers, “I guess there is only one way to settle this.” He exposes himself. “See…I’ve only got two.” But little Chavez is a shrewd bettor and replies, “Yes but how do I know you are not hiding one behind those two?” So Fidel wonders aloud, “What do you expect me to do to prove it?” To which Chavez replies, “Let me do a hand inspection just to be sure.” Fidel thinks for a second then smiles. “Yes! That would be just fine with me, my friend.” So little Chavez grabs Fidel by the testículos and feels around a bit. “Darn!” Chavez complains. “You only have two!” He turns to see his brother walking in with Raul and he motions them over as he realizes he’s still clasping Fidel. He pardons himself and releases Fidel as the two brothers walk up. “Give him the money.” Little Chavez orders his brother Hugo as Fidel takes it laughing. The Chavez brothers turn to leave the hotel. Fidel looks up at Raul who looks very pale and distant. Fidel laughing says, “That stupid little Chavez makes money placing bets but I can’t see how making dumb wagers like that. And why do you look so glum Raul? I just made 25 G’s! Perk up!” But a sullen Raul replies, “A month ago that swindler Hugo Chavez bet me $100,000 that his little brother would be in the Grand Ballroom of the Presidential Hotel in Havana today holding Fidel Castro by the cojones. ”
This Forgotten Moment in History has been brought to you by:
Tomas Estrada-Palma
When the former Soviet Union collapsed, depriving Castro of the subsidies that propped up his centrally mismanaged regime, Fidel was desperately searching for schemes to bring in hard currency. Realizing how gullible the leftist elite in the Western democracies were, he hatched a plan to get these Fidel lovers to put money in the Bank of Cuba. The Bank of Cuba couldn’t afford to pay any real interest. So Fidel offered to have lunch in the Grand Ballroom of the Presidential Hotel in Havana, Cuba with anyone who would deposit at least 1 million dollars in the Bank of Cuba.
Not long after he announced this offer Fidel received a phone call from his old pal Chavez in Venezuela who wasn’t president then. Chavez says he had no real money himself but his little brother had some money that he needed to put somewhere that he won gambling. So an appreciative Fidel thanks his old buddy and arranged to meet with Chavez’s little brother. Sure enough little Chavez deposits 1 million dollars in the Bank of Cuba and is having his lunch with Castro in the Grand Ballroom of the Presidential Hotel.
Fidel trying to make conversation says, “Hey chico…so you’re a gambler are you? What do you like to do, cards, the horse races, casinos? You know we have some of those things right here in Havana if you’d like to try your luck?” Little Chavez laughs and say, “No, no, no thank you. I don’t like my odds with those endeavors. They favor the house. No…I prefer to make bets.” Fidel’s curiosity has been piqued now. “Bets.” Fidel inquires a bit confused. “What do you mean bets?” Chavez replies blandly, “You know…like for example I’d bet you that you had 3 testículos.” A shocked Fidel asks, “You’d bet me that I have 3 testículos?” A confident little Chavez exclaims, “I’ll bet you $25,000 you have 3 testiculos.” Fidel thrusts his hand forward and shakes in agreement before little Chavez can change his offer. “It’s a bet. But I don’t have 25 G’s here in my wallet.” Fidel realizes. “Heck, me neither.” Replies little Chavez who picks up his cell phone and goes in a corner to speak privately. “What’s up?” Asked Fidel upon his return to the table. He replies, “I just called Hugo and told him to bring me $25,000 in cash because I didn’t want to take money out from the Bank of Cuba that I just deposited.” Fidel smiles and says, “Good, good thinking! I’ll call Raul and have him bring be 25 G’s as well.”
So the two men sit there for several hours drinking and laughing until their two brother’s show up in Hugo Chavez’s limo outside which is announced to the two drinkers in the hotel. So Fidel stands up a bit drunk and say unbuckling his trousers, “I guess there is only one way to settle this.” He exposes himself. “See…I’ve only got two.” But little Chavez is a shrewd bettor and replies, “Yes but how do I know you are not hiding one behind those two?” So Fidel wonders aloud, “What do you expect me to do to prove it?” To which Chavez replies, “Let me do a hand inspection just to be sure.” Fidel thinks for a second then smiles. “Yes! That would be just fine with me, my friend.” So little Chavez grabs Fidel by the testículos and feels around a bit. “Darn!” Chavez complains. “You only have two!” He turns to see his brother walking in with Raul and he motions them over as he realizes he’s still clasping Fidel. He pardons himself and releases Fidel as the two brothers walk up. “Give him the money.” Little Chavez orders his brother Hugo as Fidel takes it laughing. The Chavez brothers turn to leave the hotel. Fidel looks up at Raul who looks very pale and distant. Fidel laughing says, “That stupid little Chavez makes money placing bets but I can’t see how making dumb wagers like that. And why do you look so glum Raul? I just made 25 G’s! Perk up!” But a sullen Raul replies, “A month ago that swindler Hugo Chavez bet me $100,000 that his little brother would be in the Grand Ballroom of the Presidential Hotel in Havana today holding Fidel Castro by the cojones. ”
This Forgotten Moment in History has been brought to you by:
Tomas Estrada-Palma
posted by Tomás Estrada-Palma at
11:44 PM
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