Friday, May 23, 2008

Cuba Tourist Restitution

So you intend on going to Cuba despite our warnings that it is not a good deal and you are harming Cubans by funding their oppressors. Before you go make sure you've had all your shots and read this blog and go elsewhere like the CDC to inform yourselves about the diseases found in Cuba due to the poor conditions that collectivism always breeds like dengue mosquitos.

To mitigate your tourist oppressor funding vacation package I suggest you donate two cell phones per week of vacation time spent in Cuba to a needy Cuban. Those phones better be paid up for at least a year too. By doing this small act of charity you will rob the regime of more than they gain from your tourist money. Picture phones are of particular high value.

As for Cuban exiles in America...what are you waiting for? George at the Real Cuba website reports that Bush has signed off on letting Americans send cell phones to Cuba. This is exactly what I've been talking about in the "Art of War." The enemy dictates our opportunities. We must storm into Cuba while Raul has opened the palace gates to cell phones. Every Cuban exile who travels to Cuba should be figuring out how to get cell phones and computers into their relatives' hands. Exiles should open a cell phone foundation with an account where we could donate money for the purpose of paying for Cuban cell phone service on the island.

The good Chinese general Sun Tzu advises to rush in when the enemy provides the opportunity. What are you waiting for? What organization do I make out the check to? Where can I ship these old computers for salvage? Neither crying over our past misery nor bickering amongst ourselves will bring us closer to victory. Striking our enemy from out of nowhere like a bolt of lightening from a clear blue sunny sky WILL!


Blogger Tomás Estrada-Palma said...

Some may think: Tomas! Are you crazy giving away secret plans like this?

Tomas: Actually, by alerting Raul to this I force his hand and make him try to come up with counter measures. This will further drain him of resources and perhaps piss off his tourist customers if he starts hassling them thereby splitting his supporters away from him in the tourist nations. These things General Tzu also advises to defeat a foe.

As for Raul and gang, they are in a tenuous position. They fight a siege war for almost fifty years now. They are trapped inside there island fortress with 11 million angry, hungry tired Cubans who might turn on them at any moment. They see Raul offer crumbs to appease them but that only makes them thirst for more with Raul still in the way.

General Tzu warns against all of these tactics pursued by Raul. The general says those foolish enough to do as Raul is doing are doomed to defeat.


8:17 AM  
Anonymous Francesco said...

I have read all the necessary details required to visit Cuba. Now I am confident about my tour to Cuba.

5:47 PM  
Blogger Tomás Estrada-Palma said...

Bring plenty of bottled water or stick strictly to drinking only alcohol. But then be sure to mind your internal organs. Some tourists who died while vacationing in Cuba had their body returned but missing many vital organs. Apparently they are very valuable. Oh yea...bring some give away cell phones with you.

8:13 AM  

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