Monday, March 12, 2007

The Real Tourist Reviews

The Real Tourist Reviews

The vast majority of you naive Canadians don’t realize that the Cuban government is expert at manipulating information. First read these REAL testimonials from REAL travelers to Cuba and how things really are in Cuba:

1. A vacation we will never forget

We arrived 01-07-05, for a 7 day vacation. First there were tons of hassles at the airport. We sat in a holding cell with a guard standing outside that was holding a AK-47. We were never told why we were being held there. Finally they told us, we could leave and go to our hotel Tryp Peninsula. We get to the hotel and hotel security already knows were coming because they have been tipped off to watch us very closely. I found this out later from one of the security guards. Our room was a dump, sheets were nasty, no clean towels, hair in the tub and sinks, terrible room service. Day 2 started out good, we had a nice breakfast and were getting ready to go sightseeing and were stopped as we tried to leave the hotel by the police and were told to go back to our rooms and pack because we were being forced to leave the country. So we did and were escorted back to the airport. We boarded our plane and flew back to Mexico City. We were not given any refunds for the hotel. We were never told why we were being forced to leave the country. I rated safety as being great because we were with armed police officers and security guards almost the whole time. After arriving in Mexico City we flew on to Cancun and had a great time. Definately a vacation we will never forget.

2. so eventless and dull and drab and annoying

3. Small airport, facilities very poor, customs and immigration are a nightmare! Be prepared for lots of unnecessary questions, long delays and luggage searches! Far beyond the realms of reasonableness!

The Fake Cuban Reviews

But these review sites are also filled with disinformation obviously written by Cuban State Security Agents. Read this next 5 star review by a so-called tourist. Is this the syntax, spelling and vocabulary choice of an English speaker?

1. I love the beaches,they`re wonderful,food very tasted and healthy, the treat,very good,hotels goods,weather awsome,excelent places for fishing,beautiful nature,things to avoid: Politic comments,and be aware always like any other foreign countries with assaults and property theft,(just becarefull,nothing to worried ) my reference to others have to go and try it to believe it,once you there you don`t want to come back to your own living place...!

There are numerous posts just like this but permit me to quote: “my reference to others have to go and try it to believe it,once you there you don`t want to come back to your own living place...!

No, no, no comrade. This agent starts right out by telling you that your food has already been very tasted... Really? By whom? Let me help you write an actual correct English thought, Boris. Besides all the spelling, punctuation and run-on sentence errors you really need native translators who are familiar with English. For example we don’t say “my reference to others have to go…” That is Spanish syntax and “my reference” would never be our word choice. Try simply using “my advice to others” the next time you are propagandizing. But this Cuban State Security knucklehead is actually telling us if you read him literally that his references have to go! Also “you don’t want to come back to your own living space” is one of the lamest attempts at penning English I have ever read without fainting from laughter. If Raul has not killed you already for your incompetence, next time just say, “you won’t want to return home” or “you’ll want to stay forever.”

The moral of the story Canadians: Don’t believe everything you read in these “Reviews” because any tom, dick or raul can comment. How could so many people have a terrible experience while others using terrible English have such a wonderful experience?

Tomás Estrada-Palma


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