Fatso Fidel & Roundtable Raul

Fatso Fidel & Roundtable Raul

Oh sure Fidel looks skinny now. That’s because he has shoved so much rich food down his greedy gullet that his cancerous digestive track has just shut down. His brother Raul still has some function in his digestive track because he appears to be about a 44 inch with a stretch-band waist to accommodate the wide fluctuations. Fortunately he is well on his way to the colostomy bag too. But it is fitting that they forced their own people to survive on beans, rice and even sugar cane while they dined like royalty which ironically will speed their demise. It is a very painful death they face as well. I’d rather go in my sleep in about another hundred years.

This gluttonous diet of the brothers aptly demonstrates their greed in more than just their food intake. It symbolizes their personality. Their greed is for everything that they want no matter who they hurt or kill. And they have had the spoiled child power to do just that even to their own detriment. This greed has forced 11 million Cubans to live in squalor and boredom stuck in time unnecessarily. There is no sane reason for people to need to be transported in wheel barrels to get to the hospital in emergencies. Electric blackouts and dengue outbreaks do not happen in intelligently governed nations. They always occur where some selfish despots enslave the productive capability of the people and rob them of what meager wealth they are permitted to create.

So let the punishment fit their crimes. The torture Fidel is experiencing now is his first installment to repay his debt to humanity. I’m happy to see that Hugo is following the Fidel dietary model letting his gluttonous food consumption choke him into an early grave. So my message to you Cubanos is to eat intelligently and exercise regularly. We sensible, frugal Cubanos will simply out live the greedy tyrants! In the mean time we should all send a ham to the highest Cuban official we can – with extra salt. This will not violate the embargo and be a very cost effective bio weapon to kill the top leadership. Let me throw out two little words – animal fat. We need to lard up the leadership. We can pork roast the polit-bureau. Consider this our caloric Trojan horse. Okay commies…come and get it!

Tomás Estrada-Palma